Today we have a thought-provoking piece by MOPS of Quincy's own Barbara Fish. Barb is a mother of three and member of our MOPS leadership team.
Throughout life, we all learn about certain social cues, codes, and rules about how to
operate socially. Since becoming a mom, I’ve noticed there are plenty of those unwritten
rules in the mothering sector. Some of them I think I’ve learned, like how it’s OK to wear
an elastic waistband in public even if you’re no longer pregnant. (They’re called yoga
pants, thank you very much.) Yet other mores leave me wishing there were some sort of
Mommy Memos. For example, at what point are we moms no longer allowed to wear
low-rise jeans? Is it your age that determines the cutoff (so-to-speak!), the size of said
jeans, the number of children you have? I would appreciate a memo on that subject so I
don’t commit any Mommy faux paus.
I think I may have recently received a Mommy Memo in regard to the world of
play-dating. Of course, I am willing to share, cause that’s the kind of mom I am. So,
apparently, when our children finish preschool, there is no longer any need to play-date
with kids from different towns. I think I received this memo from the mom of one of
my daughter’s preschool buddies, who will attend school in a different town in the fall.
In my attempts to squeeze in a few more get-togethers as the preschool year concluded,
the mom cancelled a scheduled play-date, and ignored my next email attempting to
reschedule. She managed to avoid me entirely at the two year-end gatherings, as if to
say, “We’re done here.”
Ok, so the practical gal inside of me tells me that’s fine, really. It’s hard to schedule
things amidst busy schedules and multiple children. And our daughters - though they
played wonderfully together - are young enough to move on quickly, with a whole new
group of kids.
But there is that softy inside of me, the one who watched her introverted daughter come
to life so easily with her friend. And the one who thinks maybe eight miles isn’t really
such a distance to drive every once in a while. And while our daughters’ relationship
might not show up in their respective kindergarten classes, couldn’t the effects show up
in any classes?
I suppose we’ll never know, because I chose to take this fellow Mom’s lack of
correspondence as yet another notation in my “Mommy Playbook.” I plan on comparing
notes with other moms and amending sections. For example, my rule about inter-town
play-dating might read something like this: Don’t bother. Unless you met the mother/
daughter duo at MOPS, in which case, play-date until they go to college.
I may need to amend my rule about the fit of my jeans, because I’m still wearing my
low-rise jeans from college. (Hey, I was just happy I could fit them.) Nobody told me I
couldn’t wear them! Yet . . .
